Restore yourself after parting with your beloved with hypnosis

Usually, when you are dating or living with a man, you are symbolically associate yourself with him. You have not only a common household, the property, maybe children, shared interests, plans for the future, but you also feel that he is a part of you, like you're a part of him. Sometimes it happens that both partners evolve in different directions, each lives in their own representation of the relationship, of themselves and the future, which may not coincide with the other's representation. One day your partner understands that he does not love you any more and makes you face the facts. You did not notice the changes in his behavior and didn't prepare for them. Suddenly you fall from heaven to earth. The shock is so strong that you have no choice, you are left alone watching your relationship and shared plans for the future break. The pain of loss and the inability to understand what happened come along with the impression of losing the foundation under your feet. You feel that life is falling apart, and you do not know how to stop it, what to do, how to go on living.

If you do nothing, then you should expect a long and painful process, you'll have to go through anger, despair, depression, decreased self-confidence, before starting a new life. This is similar to a protracted illness with severe attacks.

Is it possible to accelerate the process of recovery from the trauma of separation? It is possible and necessary. Of course, a lot depends on the structure of your personality and your psychic structure, on whether you have a penchant for dependent relationships, or are a very independent person, and how stable, full and interesting your life is outside your relationship. The worst case, of course, is when a person is completely psychologically, financially dependent on a partner, and has sacrificed his or her own interests, career, has concentrated and invested all the energies in it. Also that this partner, who became, during the joint life, the only support and meaning of life to the other, goes away, taking with him all the investment of energy, time, forces ... It is clear that in such circumstances, the recovery process will take longer because you should restore all of the following: your autonomy, belief in yourself and your strength, learn to rely on yourself, love and respect yourself, invest energy in your development, and learn to live alone and for yourself. You also need to overcome your fears, learn to trust men again and build relationships on another stable base ....

So, before you figure out how to speed up the recovery process, let's look at the reasons why the separation caused suffering. Often, so-called adult relationships are built on the same principle that a child's relationship is built with his mother. That is, on the principle of merging the two into one, and mutual dependence on each other. This merger should bring a sense of usefulness, fullness to a person, especially if his or her life is empty, he or she is absolutely unrealized, and should give a sense of stability and security to one or both of the them. Accordingly, losing the partner, a person loses a sense of fullness, or rather loses the illusion of fullness. Being alone, he or she is in reality and finally with him- or herself, facing the emptiness of his or her life, missed opportunities, lost time, losing the illusion of success within the family. And with that, he or she also loses a sense of stability and security if the symbol of this stability was the family. Looking at separation from the point of view of the fundamental symbolism of loss, it is easy to understand the depth of suffering that can only be compared with the suffering of a child who lost his mother, and with it all that she symbolized in his eyes.

Children grow up showing adult interests and needs, but they under-evaluate the importance of the internal psychological growth until life makes them pay the price for such a frivolous approach to their development by making them suffer.

To recover, you need to become a completely independent person, to learn how to fulfil yourself and to give yourself love and respect, to heal your wounds, to forgive your former partner, let him go and stop waiting for him, to build the foundations of your own stability, to improve and to strengthen your self-esteem. 

If you have enough will and skills, you can make the journey on your own. If you feel you need help, you can make this journey with a one on one hypnotherapy session.

Anna Iourenkova

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