Break free from the traumas of violence or rape through hypnosis

Often it concerns women, but I have had male patients as well. Victims of violence which occurred in childhood or adolescence, in some cases even later, often keep not only painful memories during their whole life, but also the psychological consequences of the incident. If this happened in childhood (usually incest by a near relative or friend of the family), children, the victims of the violence, not only went through pain and humiliation, but they were often also intimidated and convinced that they were responsible for it. They believed in their helplessness and that the closest and most beloved people could not help and protect them, or sometimes that they treacherously turned a blind eye to what was happening, covering up for a rapist. They learned to keep quiet about the incident, ashamed to tell that the people who they had trusted had just cruelly abused them, fearing that they would be condemned or simply not believed. Growing up, even after they are freed from all contact with the rapist, they often retain the internal state of the victim's feeling of insecurity and mistrust of the world. Since then, they have accumulated problems in communication, especially with the opposite sex. Failure to protect themselves, to stand up for themselves and their right to say "no" leads to the fact that they often meet people who just do not respect others, especially the weak, intuitively feeling his or her helplessness. Thus, beliefs acquired as a result of violence and rape, continue to take root, and the scenario of violence continues to be repeated on a symbolic, psychological level at home, at work, and in society.

Another problem arises in the area of intimacy in relationships. Even if a woman abused in childhood or adolescence, was able to find a worthy partner in life, she often continues to associate sex with pain and humiliation, and subconsciously rejects it, while loving her partner. On the physical level, this translates into a strain of the body before and during intercourse and inability to relax, muscle spasms of the vagina making intercourse impossible. Sometimes the whole body shakes, the person may also express aggressive or fearful emotions, cry. The partner often doesn't understand such an inadequate response to his quite peaceful and loving caresses, and he does not know what to do in this situation. Other women who repeatedly experienced sexual abuse in childhood or adolescence, have resigned to their fate and associate any sex with violence that they have to endure, to the point that they developed a self-protective reaction of the so-called « exit out of the body ». That means that during a sexual assault the soul and mind were disconnected from the body, they saw themselves from the outside and felt nothing. Thus, the rape took place smoothly without physical pain, as if the woman was not there. The problem is that this protective reaction continues to play automatically in situations of normal sexual intercourse with a loved one, which is to say that the woman gives up her passive and unconscious body to a man, and thus does not feel anything. Here it is the cause of psychological frigidity. Naturally, the man in such a situation, no matter how gentle and kind he is, can not awaken a normal sensuality in his woman. This sensuality is deeply locked in her subconscious mind, because the capacity of feeling is associated with pain, humiliation and suffering. This woman, even if she knows what happened to her and why, can't heal herself on her own. She needs professional help, not just psychoanalytic or psychological, where she will endlessly talk about her trauma, once again plunging into painful memories without solving anything, but a help of an experienced hypnotherapist. These women, but also men, victims of violence in the past, often come to me.  Gradually, with the help of specialized hypnosis these women get rid of their fears, feel more confident in their body, and with men, begin to relax, and then again allow themselves to feel positive emotions during sexual contact. The men, who were victims of violence, also get rid of the negative perceptions of themselves and the limitations of their inner strength and abilities, become more self-confident. 

Anna Iourenkova

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